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The Groundwork for Co-creative Sex

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In the previous 50 Shades of Connection, I talked about creating clear containers for sex as we made our way from mutually agreed upon “genital rubbing” to the opening of the heart. As we cross the spectrum, we are amping up the connection and conscious practice in sex. The good news is that as the experience of sex deepens, the health benefits do too! Our bodies enjoy a stronger immune system, reduced blood pressure, improved bladder control, improved sleep, amongst other great stuff. When energy moves through the body, sexual activity catalyzes the life forces and gets them streaming through the whole body, equivalent to an electrical current. These intensified life forces actually have the power to heal people from all kinds of past traumas and emotional blocks. To fully understand this, one has to understand how the chakras work, which are the seven energy centers in our body starting in the lower spine and ending up at the crown of the head, including the root, solar plexus, heart, throat and crown chakras

In these chakras, memories, emotional blocks and traumas are stored. This is where the energetic signature of ancestral and cultural programming wedge themselves. They block the energy flow. If one person grew up with a lot of financial insecurity, they may have big blocks in their root chakra, where we store issues around security. If someone was bullied and mocked when they used their voice, they may have blocks in their throat chakra, resulting in a difficult time expressing themselves. As sex activates the flow of energy through these energy centers, they bump up against these blocks. As the force is quite powerful, the flow starts dislodging some of the wedges and re-awakens the wounds. People having sex may be completely oblivious to what is happening to them, but suddenly in their relationship, issues start showing up. Unconscious or inherited coping patterns start kicking in and start challenging the individuals involved.

No one is exempt from this process. Not even our modern Gods and Goddess living in Hollywood. One could assume that these very sexy individuals appear to have it all made: beauty, success, power, wealth and one would assume fantastic sex! Yet, when we find out that their marriages or unions erode and fall apart, we are all taken aback. We imagine that the handsome man will get the beautiful woman and the rest is history. What more could you ask for? Yet, drama after drama occurs as soon as they start dating and engage in sex with each other. We can look to the Brangelina trademark and break up. Or the Ben Affleck and Jenn Garner saga. Behind the picture-perfect couple are two individuals with all their baggage just like everyone else, who get slowly tripped up as they start getting those energy forces circulating between their bodies. Why did Ben sleep with the nanny? Well, the real question is what were Ben and Jenn avoiding to deal with before it happened?

As sexual energy powerfully circulates through the body and shakes everything up, default settings kick in if they are not addressed consciously. Some people rise to meet these issues by addressing them and processing whatever wound or programming shows up. While many others will just fall into default mode and exacerbate the programming or the wounding, thereby eventually disintegrating the relationship. To clarify, ancestral programming refers to emotional baggage/dynamics that were not dealt with in the previous generation and are handed down to you. Fun, right!? You’ve got the hot potato now! You have to deal with it: you can either exacerbate it or take care of it by shedding light on it. Many things get handed down, memories around sexual abuse, issues around racism and exclusion, tyrannical and control patterns, submissive behaviors, issues around money and security, self-esteem problems, sexist or entitled behaviors, cheating, fear to speak up, you name it… get passed down and tripped up!

Essentially, whatever issues and emotions have not been dealt with by the previous generations will slide down to you. Harbored within you are all these inherited issues needing to be lit up with consciousness. The magic of all this is that your energetic vibration will actually attract the exact person that needs to face these dynamics too but on the other side of the deal. This is energetic correspondence. We slide into the given role we’ve been dealt. And it doesn’t get freed up until one of the two sheds consciousness on it and shifts out of it. It can either allow the other person to shift too, but if they don’t want to deal with it, then you have your first crisis in the relationship. 

When no one wants to deal with it, the two individuals find themselves acting out the default modes inherited down their ancestral and family lines. In Baljit Rayat’s interview with Devi Ward on “co-creative sex”, she gives very common examples of these default modes. “Jill may turn to taking care of the kids and neglect the relationship, while John may turn to porn, playing video games or watching sports.” Or any other distraction that suits them: it could be your job, physical work-out or soap operas— anything that fills the void and allows you to a-void dealing with the root problem.

And there you have it, the relationship becomes stale and disconnected. Alternately, every breakthrough, every attempt of bringing clarity, transparency, and communication brings more intimacy, depth, and connection to the relationship. Conversely, it may simply shed light on the stalemate in your relationship. You either dig your own grave or dig deep into gold with unprecedented depth and satisfaction. It’s actually your choice.

As the intensity of feelings and dynamics emerge, you may want some support to process the issues coming up. This could be in the form of stalemates, unspoken truths and certainly lots of frustration. A session in the Akashic Records is a sacred vessel that helps you speed up the processing of all these blocks. It’s sort of like healing on probiotics! With this boost, you are setting up the stage for fantastic co-creative sex and relationships. Talk to you soon. 

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Julie Archambault is a certified multi-dimensional healer in the Akashic Records. She is a master at creating a safe vessel for magical and deep healing to occur. The power she channels for your accelerated healing is profound and truly sacred.

If you would like to stay in touch and receive some wisdom on Sex+Soul+Spirit in your inbox, by all means! I pride myself on inspired content that is of service to your utmost expression and becoming on this planet!

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COMING SOON: Showing up for Co-creative Sex  (20th of April) 

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THE BIG MARKERS ON THE SPECTRUM: 

1. Sexual assault: the antithesis of connection — Coal gray

2. Victimized  vs. empowered money-mediated sex— Paynes gray

3. Sex under the influence: deferring your power — Smog gray

4. Personal development meets porn-literate: the realities under the non-realities — Gunmetal gray

5. Eating the Shadow in Sex: Sexual Vampirism — Campfire smoke

6. Decolonizing sex: Free Yourself of Mental Slavery — Coal soot

7. Clear contracts:  from Genital rubbing to depth — Nimbus cloud gray

8. “Genital rubbing”— Stainless steel

9. Light and playful sex — Billowing cumulus

10. Hello Heart — Silver lining

11. The Groundwork for Co-creative Sex — mining silver

12. Showing up for Co-creative Sex — Pure Silver

13. Consciously cultivating connected-sex — Liquified silver

14. The ultimate marriage of eros, love, and sexuality — Blooming silver stardust