Skip to content

Creating Clear Containers for Sex: from Genital Rubbing to Depth

img_2348

Clear Containers:  from Genital Rubbing to Depth — Nimbus cloud grey

For those who have been following my Fifty Shades of Connection — from violently disconnected to blissfully connected sex from the very beginning, we are entering new and exciting territory! We are leaving the shadow behind and gearing up for an increasing amount of blissful authentic connection!!! I am so thrilled about this. We started with the grimmer sides of connection, or non-existent connection as in sexual assault, and made our way through the various shades and shadows of sex. The shadow basically shows up in sex anytime we are hurting another person or taking advantage of them in some way or form, whether it be explicit or concealed, whether we admit it to ourselves or not. Some shadows are very obvious, but others such as sexual vampirism can be very subtle, even tricky! If you haven’t read the post on sexual vampirism, be sure to do so. It’s a pre-requisite for up-levelling our sexual connection!

For blissfully connected sex, you need to learn the skill of eating and digesting your very own shadow, as growing is, of course, an on-going process. Up-levelling to higher states of sex means you understand what “deferring” or “leaking” your power actually means and you take ownership for where this is happening in your life. To have powerfully connected sex, you need to seal up your sacred vessel from any energy leakage. You also need to truly own your sexual/spiritual power and learn how to work with it, as opposed to deferring it to someone else or something else. To experience this truly sacred magic, you have to show up as a fully responsible co-creator.

This doesn’t mean the shadow won’t come back to play, it really loves to play hide-and-go-seek! But there is a clear commitment to transparency. This is why I call this new segment: clear containers or clear contracts. When concluding a business deal between different parties, an exchange of “energy” will occur in the form of goods, services, and money. A sexual exchange is essentially the same thing: an exchange of potent life forces — our very own sacred energy. Just like in any ideal fair exchange, there needs to be transparency. That way, people know what they are getting into and can decide if “yes” or “no” they actually want to conclude the very deal. If we hide our true intentions, this is when we slip back into sexual vampirism. Conversely, to enter a clear transparent contract means that we have fully disclosed the nature of the sexual encounter. This clear contract becomes the healthy container in which you can then share your energy without taking advantage of someone or being used by them.

Contracts can be as simple as agreeing on keeping the exchange uniquely on the physical level. As relationships deepen, contracts deepen too by involving other parts of yourself, notably your heart, your mind and your spiritual essence.

Sex as “Genital rubbing”—- Stainless steel 

“Genital rubbing” is basically the mere mechanics of sex, without involving anything else of your being. No heart, no feelings, no spiritual connection, just the bare basics of rubbing each other’s genitals and getting off. The important thing here is to have a body that essentially allows you to get off, a body that will give you a “hit” or a “high.” Here, we have left the sphere of sexual vampirism by being very clear with the intentions of what will happen. Essentially, both have agreed to not really be interested in getting to know each other, nor deepening the relationship with feelings. You have mutually agreed to simply get off on each other. You want to get a buzz and that is it. Since you are essentially doing it for yourself, without involving your heart, it remains in the sphere of self-serving, but you have both agreed to adopt this mindset, so it is reciprocal!

scan-14Yet, it is probably safe to say that since we are humans, with emotions and feelings, it is probably very hard to remain in this situation for a very long time— unless, of course, you are completely blocked off from your feeling life, and this may give you a nudge to figuring out why your heart is actually numb! It is also important to note that our psyches can deceive us. You may think you are scheduling a mere session of “genital rubbing” with a stranger, the contract may seem very clear, but the reality is that you may unconsciously want more. I’ve heard people want to just “fuck” or “be fucked,” but then realize they are actually disappointed because they wanted or needed more. You may actually be looking for more depth and love but don’t know how to get there. You may even be engaging in such a contract hoping that it might open up to more. But the reality of this type of contract is that it is essentially designed for easy disposable sex without attachments. If your intentions are not clear here, you will slip down the spectrum and enter the murky and depleting grounds of sexual vampirism.

With “genital rubbing,” you may be getting a physical workout, some good kicks, but after awhile, a feeling of hollowness may arise, since nothing but your physical self is engaged, while neglecting all the other parts of your being that make you fully human.scan-22

Light and playful sex! — Billowing cumulus

The next shade on the spectrum involves new elements in the contract: both agree that it is just for fun — no strings attached. There is an authentic foundation of respect and concern for each other’s well-being, without necessarily having really deep feelings (yet). They want to pleasure their partner and essentially are enjoying the moment. Here, the line has been clearly drawn: no commitment, no expectations. When both people agree to this, and clarity reigns, it can make room for light and playful fun. This is a little bit more involved than simple genital rubbing since trust and mutual respect invite sharing. “Self-interest” is now replaced with “interest” in the other person. The lightheartedness tells us the heart is actually present, albeit it “lightly.” It is all fun and play— and stays that way.

This light and playful fun can also result from potential. It’s just not clear yet what the potential is. You don’t know where the relationship is leading you, but both of you are open and interested. It is in a transitional stage. In the beginning, it is alive and has potential to become more. The future is not clear yet and the energy bringing you together is carrying you. Maybe the energy will eventually dissipate, which can end the relationship or perhaps retrograde you down the spectrum. It can also be the doorway to opening your heart up even more: to either friendship or deeper feelings of love.

Here, sex is essentially light, playful, fun and healthy! Your body feels refreshed and good. Your energy fields are mutually nourished and enlivened. Potential and genuine reciprocal interest are palpable. It is a period of exploration within a space of mutual respect and consideration. It is very exciting for both partners as it is new, fresh and full of hope. It comes with the joy and excitement of discovering someone new. It fills you both with energy— it’s a definite buzz. A shared buzz. It’s light and playful sex but this time with potential!

Hello Heart! — Silver lining

When you involve the heart in sex, a new dimension enters into the experience: depth of feeling, anywhere from lightheartedness to more deeply rooted feelings. Not only are you physically involved, but your heart is engaged as well. This allows for a whole new level of connection and scope for satisfaction. Opening the heart means that your actions are guided by a genuine heartfelt interest in the other person. In her book Shake your Soul Song, Devi Ward refers to love as “the joy of bringing happiness and pleasure to the other person.” With the heart involved, we distance ourselves from being purely motivated by our self-interest. We are compelled by love for the other person. The interest in the other person as a multi-layered individual suddenly allows for a much deeper connection and respect for them, their integrity, their becoming as well as care for their body.

As love grows, sex becomes less and less motivated by self-interest. There is a desire to give to the other person, as opposed to simply taking. Yet, opening up one’s heart is not necessarily an easy thing to do: you have to be vulnerable, ask the bulldog to heel. Fear has a way of keeping the heart from opening and fully disclosing itself. Opening one’s heart means accepting to enter a place of vulnerability, where you strive for authenticity, accept to reveal yourself, be truthful about who you are and what you feel. And this is pretty challenging for many, particularly if you’re scared of getting hurt. It’s even more difficult if you’ve already been hurt! The hurt can be related to previous lovers, but not always. It can also be linked to varying degrees of emotional trauma previously experienced in your life. In order to love, opening the door means accepting to go beyond one’s coping mechanisms. When you manage to do this, the return is tremendous. Opening one’s heart allows for more depth, more feeling, more fulfilling sex. But, it also involves discovering your fears and wounds, which you will be invited to overcome if you want to deepen the relationship.

We are slowly warming up the waters! The next exciting marker is the actual groundwork for bliss: The Groundwork for Co-Creative Sex, that will be posted on the 16th of March, just in time for St-Patrick’s day!  We are definitely getting to the juicy stuff so don’t miss out and click “follow”!

Screen Shot 2017-02-16 at 11.29.01 PM.png

If you are needing help sorting out what a healthy container looks like and help navigate all the confusion that can come with it, you are welcome to reach out for my help by booking a session with me at contact@glowingsnake.com

Julie Archambault is a certified multi-dimensional healer in the Akashic Records. She is a master at creating a safe vessel for magical and deep healing to occur. The power she channels for your accelerated healing is profound and truly sacred.

screen-shot-2017-02-08-at-6-36-59-pm

THE BIG MARKERS ON THE SPECTRUM: 

1. Sexual assault: the antithesis of connection — Coal gray

2. Victimized  vs. empowered money-mediated sex— Paynes gray

3. Sex under the influence: deferring your power — Smog gray

4. Personal development meets porn-literate: the realities under the non-realities — Gunmetal gray

5. Eating the Shadow in Sex: Sexual Vampirism — Campfire smoke

6. Decolonizing sex: Free Yourself of Mental Slavery — Coal soot

7. Clear contracts:  from Genital rubbing to depth — Nimbus cloud gray

8. “Genital rubbing”— Stainless steel

9. Light and playful sex — Billowing cumulus

10. Hello Heart — Silver lining

11. The Groundwork for Co-creative Sex — mining silver

12. Showing up for Co-creative Sex — Pure Silver

13. Consciously cultivating connected-sex — Liquified silver

14. The ultimate marriage of eros, love, and sexuality — Blooming silver stardust

Cracking the CODE to LOVE.

I tell ya’! I’ve cracked the CODE to deeper love! And very excited to share it with you, especially if “LOVE” and “DEEPER LOVE” have been the bane of your existence. It involves mastering these 6 principles: Truth, Courage, Vulnerability, Visibility, Self-love and Faith. So, here is a quick poetic breakdown:

TRUTH: 

Deeper love needs you to see the truth. It requires you to see the truth about your current relationships. It requires you to see the truth about your past relationships. But most of all, it requires you to take a hard look at those initial “archetypal” relationships that programmed you. You need to see the truth about your childhood and the truth about your family. Whatever is not fully conscious about these relationships will show up in your life without you even realizing it, until you actually fully SEE it and take ownership for it. Awakening to the truth about your life allows you to free yourself of any illusions. DEEPER LOVE does not grow in illusions. It can only grow in consciousness.

VULNERABILITY: 

If you guard yourself, how can you receive deeper love? If you put a mask to please or to impress, how can deeper love find you? If you pretend you are almighty when you are feeling fragile, how can deeper love reach out and caress you? If your independence isolates you, how can deeper love connect to you? Vulnerability arises when you use your voice to share the deep truths present in your heart, without distorting them in any way. It’s expressing the raw sensitive truth without censoring yourself. Vulnerability is the way to intimacy— the doorway to deeper love.

VISIBILITY:

Hide and go seek is a great game, but if no one knows that you are hiding in the first place, how can deeper love know it should be looking for you? How can it know that you even exist? If you are not showing up as the truest expression of yourself, how can deeper love recognize you? If you are not shining your light, how does it find you in the fog? The truth is, if you stay under the radar, you will remain lonely in the wide undecipherable sea! When you hide beside the fly on the wall, it thinks you are just part of the pretty floral design on the wallpaper. Being visible means uncovering your beauty so that people can see it. If you do that, deeper love will indeed find you. How can it resist such beauty???

COURAGE: 

Deeper love requires courage because it takes courage to see the truth. It takes courage to step up, to use your voice and speak about what is actually going on down below. It takes courage to completely own who you are. It takes courage to reveal your deepest self and allow yourself to be seen. It takes courage indeed to be YOU. When you manage to embrace courage with confidence, you are holding a master key that opens up many MANY doors.

SELF-LOVE: 

No one can love you if you don’t love yourself. You are the safeguard of your temple, of your body, your soul, your spirit. You are the designated caretaker. When you tend to your temple, you are signaling its value to everyone else. They will sense the value and be compelled to treat it with as much reverence as you have managed to muster up for yourself. If someone doesn’t take their shoes off to enter your temple, you will know how to ask them to do so. If someone comes in screaming and yelling, you will know how to usher them out of your sacred space because you honor the sanctity of your temple. When you know the worth of your temple, you know how to protect your space from destructive forces. Otherwise, it is left in shambles and who wants to sit in a temple that has been torn apart? Having healthy boundaries allows you to keep this sacred space alive and imbued with quality, perfect for those who know how to appreciate it. The self-love temple is where deeper love resides.

FAITH: 

Well, if you don’t believe you can get better, well you won’t. If you don’t believe that someone out there has the capacity to meet you at your greatest expression, well you won’t. You have to be able to deeply believe that what you want does in fact exist and that it is available for you. To not believe so, means you settle for what you are getting, or for nothing at all. If you don’t believe it’s possible, you compromise important pieces of yourself. You must be able to visualize what you want. You have to fully own that you are in fact the creator of your reality. This means that you must embody your co-creative power and imagine all that you deserve and clearly ask for it. This is the key to co-creative magic. This is the last piece that allows you to manifest the profound experience of deeper love.

MASTERING THE 6 KEYS

Mastering these 6 keys is, of course, a deep and profound journey. And, I very well know that journeys can be long and tortuous. But they can also be short and sweet. A visit in the Akashic Records definitely helps quicken the journey by promptly unburdening you of unnecessary loads. Imagine you are carrying your mother or your brother on your shoulders? Wouldn’t their weight quickly get overwhelming under that blistering sun? They have legs! You don’t need to carry them! You don’t need to be doing all the work for them!

The Akashic Records is an accelerated process of growth, a sacred space to process and clear these unnecessary weights. It’s the fastest way I know to finally say “Good riddance” to those burdens holding you back from the greatest things in life, notably receiving good wholesome LOVE.

You can always choose the long way, everyone is free on their journey. But waking up can, in fact, take awhile because these burdens hide conspicuously in our shadows. If you could drop the unnecessary weight you were carrying on your way, wouldn’t you want to drop it?

GETTING AN ALIGNMENT

Think what happens to your tires when they are out of alignment. The tires get worn out quite fast. When we are out of alignment in various areas of our life, the very same thing occurs: we get worn out. The impacts show up in love, at work, and in our general well-being and health.

With 5 sessions, we can help re-align these 6 principles in your life: Truth, Courage, Vulnerability, Visibility, Self-love and Faith, as life has a way of banging them up! For Valentine’s day, I will throw in a 6th session for good measure for anyone that signs up by TUESDAY the 21rst of February.

I’m telling you, it’s more than worth it. Every single client I have worked with can’t believe how much lighter they feel after my sessions. They often express deep surprise: “I didn’t think I would feel so good” or “I didn’t realize we were going to go so deep!”  So, if you are ready to co-create, the results in your life will be profound.

Co-creating with you would seriously thrill me. When I do this work and see people transform, it truly makes me vibrate at a very high frequency which in turn brings me to a place of deep radiating JOY!

READY TO CO-CREATE SOME MAGIC INTO YOUR LIFE? 

6 sessions for the price of 5! Taken individually, these 6 sessions are worth: 1074$. You will only be paying 750$ for the whole transformational sh-bang! Having such deep liberating epiphanies are actually priceless, especially when they have such a profound impact on your life.

Don’t wait. Go for it. Invest in yourself.

If you reside in Canada, the best way to pay is via e-mail transfer at contact@glowingsnake.com. 

Can’t wait to get started and help you let DEEPER LOVE into your life.

Ohhhhhh…..and exciting news:

MY FIRST MALE TESTIMONIAL

I am so thrilled to share my FIRST MALE testimonial!!! Youppi-doo! Thank you, Wes!

“I’ve been hell bent on my own healing and conscious evolution for several years now, ever since becoming a father to two amazing kids. Part of this journey has involved deep examination of my role as a man in contemporary society. Julie is one of these healers that I’ve had the incredible fortune of connecting with. Our Akashic Record session together was effortless and flowed smoothly from start to finish under her compassionate guidance. I felt supported throughout and free to explore what was present for me as it came up. She was pointedly accurate in her intuitive insights into how the beliefs formed misbeliefs manifesting in my present day issues. I came away from the session wanting more, wanting to explore deeper. Most importantly, I left with a sense of clarity and peace that stayed with me for days after and that created a positive everlasting shift in my consciousness. Can’t wait to find out what else Julie can help me unlock about myself and my unique journey and purpose in this lifetime.

—Wes Lythe, Coaching industry, Sherwood Park, AB
Talk to you soon,

Love Julie xxx

Valentine’s Day: ready to AMP up the LOVE in your life?

business-love-1

As Valentine day approaches, I’ve been thinking of LOVE.

The Greeks have four words to talk about love.

1) Agape: “Spiritual love”
2) Eros: “Passionate love”
3) Philia: “Affectionate love of friends”
4) Storge: “Parental love”

Which of the 4 types of LOVE is most present right now in your life?  And which one would you like to AMP up?

If you are serious about your intent, put your name in the draw and you might be the lucky winner of this Free Valentine’s Day Akashic Record Reading.

Together we will AMP UP the very kind of love you are seeking by figuring out the very thing that is blocking you from receiving it and… clear it away to let the magic in! To participate in the draw, click on here:

business-love-1