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Morning musings!

Monday, the 29th of August

A soul’s cycle

I nailed the coffee

this morning

just the right quantities

and of course I’d replenished 

the turbinado and whole cream. 

The sun pieced through

what was left of the tempest

only calm and my bucket of rocks

capping with forgotten rain water.

Who would have known

from its translucent repose

that it came down with

fierce animosity — or perhaps

more closely resembling

a state of urgency.

It was all invisible,

it struck in the night

only at times did

the lightning hit

and X-ray the earth

revealing skeletons of

tree, house and grand-father’s

granite rock.

Now the serenity, the loon’s call

and chickadee blur the memory

of the steamy rain fall,

its intensity, ever increasing,

its remonstrance, its admonition,

and certainly its peaking pleasure.

Read more





…from violently disconnected sex to blissfully connected.


This article started off as a simple blog entry, but as I started working on it, it kept on expanding in scope and in depth as I researched and thought about it. Every month, on the third Thursday of the month, a new shade will be posted until the whole spectrum has been revealed. Enjoy!



Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how, as a globalized world, we connect sexually to women’s bodies, or all bodies for that matter. In all honesty, I can’t help but feel that there is still so much to learn, so much more to deepen and share to better inform our collective consciousness and bring it to a healthier place. Sex is in essence a way of communicating with someone. On one end of the spectrum, communication can be hellish — especially when it is a one way conversation or, worse, a form of assault! On the other end of the spectrum, it becomes a game changer because it allows you to feel deeply connected to someone. FIFTY SHADES OF CONNECTION is my first attempt at working out a spectrum that charts the various shades of sex from violently disconnected to blissfully connected. By laying them out as such, it helps to contrast the qualities existing in the various types of encounters. It can also help people, both women and men, figure out where their interactions lie on the chart and what this actually represents for them or their partner. The truth of the matter is that we probably move back and forth on the chart as we wade through the various complexities of our multi-layered encounters and as we untangle our very own personal knots. So, as we become more conscious of what is actually happening to us, our place on the chart will obviously shift. This chart attempts at being all-encompassing from very difficult situations to lofty heights, and yet, on a more humble note, I am well aware that there may be elements missing and would love your help to fill in the gaps, as people have of course very unique experiences. Sexual assault, money mediated sex, sexual vampirism as well as clear contracts: from “genital rubbing” to blissful “holistic co-creative sex” will be explored on this spectrum.

The big markers on the spectrum: 

1. Sexual assault: the antithesis of connection — Coal grey

2. Victimized money mediated sex vs. Empowered money mediated sex— Paynes grey

3. Sex under the influence — Smog grey

4. Porn driven sex — Gun metal grey

5. Sexual Vampirism — Campfire smoke

6. Racism and sex— Coal soot  (which can veil all previous shades)

7. Clear contracts:  from Genital rubbing to depth — Nimbus cloud grey

8. “Genital rubbing”—- Stainless steal

9. Light and playful sex — Billowing cumulus

10. Hello Heart — Silver lining

11. The Groundwork for Co-creative Sex — mining silver

12. Showing up for Co-creative Sex— Pure Silver

13. Consciously cultivating connected-sex — Liquified silver

14. The ultimate marriage of eros, love and sexuality- Blooming silver star dust